Don’t worry I’m just nostalgic and tired and confused about the present and future and past and where I’m going, where I am now, where I will be in a month and who will be here, who won’t and weepy because it’s all the emotion at once.
Putting Heaps of Effort Into Something That Isn’t Going Anywhere.
An Auto-biography about my jobs and romantic relationships.
I’ve often wondered, “Can it be just one person who makes this place great?”.
It was one person who made this place great.
He’s gone now.
And it’s not so great as it was.
Nostalgic for a time and place in my life that doesn’t exist anymore.
I know it’s just a transition.
But, God I miss that time and place.
And I miss your face like hell.
In yet another fit of nostalgia, I remembered that one year ago today I left home to go to Adelaide, Australia.
I can comfortably say that the ensuing year has been the most incredible and most difficult of my life.
I have seen so many breathtaking sights, met the most incredible people, grew immensely as a human being, endured a whole lot of heartbreak and depression, and slowly, painfully I have healed and feel more whole and happy than I maybe ever have.
I want to give a sincere, heartfelt thank you to my friends and family all over this world for all the help and all the positivity. I will be a brighter, happier person for all my days because of this year.
Here’s to the ebb and flow of life and the adventure never ceasing.
We only have two weeks together before he moves away and I have come to terms with it peacefully.
He has brought me so much joy and positivity but we both need to be set free into the world. We both don’t really know where we’re going or where we will end up. That’s alright.
So we can’t hold on. We don’t have to let go, but continuing on entwined isn’t an option. And I thought it would hurt so badly but I’m quite alright with it. I love this boy. I adore this boy. But when our time ends, it will end peacefully and with best friendship still in place. I can ask for no more.
Thank you, Tom.
And if you try to let them go…
They only circle back and return to you.
They become part of who you are…
…or they destroy you.
I’ve come so fucking far.
And I’m going so much farther.
I’m not normally into these articles. But after the heart-breaking and healing year I’ve had I just melted all over reading this because it is so true for me. This second love has been so important for me, it has rearranged what I think love is. It has given me happiness and allowed me to be an independent person while still feeling attached to someone. I have most importantly been inspired to be a better human. I’ve heard of this phenomenon but never felt it before. The strange part is I don’t feel like I love him as much as I loved my first love. But it’s such a richer, deeper love. Not as wildly passionate and all-consuming. It’s healthier and happier. I am so glad to have known it even just for a few months. Tom has helped me to heal without even knowing I needed to heal or trying to help me. He’s the most genuinely beautiful human being. And he will always be my second and ultimately redeeming love.
Drunken 4 am walks around the block while my boy is just in his briefs.
Followed by Frank Ocean lullabies.
Oh, romance you saucy, fleeting wench.
Don’t leave me yet.